I was told this phrase by a healer many years ago: “Heal yourself, heal the world.”
At the time, I had just lost my brother to an overdose, my divorce had been finalized two months prior, and my world was unraveling.
At that time, I was only being advised on using western medicine as my guide.
Holistic medicine wasn't really on my radar… or was it?
Granted, I did use acupuncture through IVF and was told it would increase our chances of conceiving by 30% or more by our fertility doctor. I remember acupuncture (which was unknown to me) significantly helped my panic attacks. At the time, I would walk out of Dr. Zhang’s office with pins still in my ears covered by circular band aids to help aid with my crippling anxiety until my next visit. I remember Dr. Zhang said “my panic was for real” and finally felt some relief because if you have had or experienced a panic attack it can feel so overwhelming that you fear the next one. You want someone just to confirm that what you are feeling is actually happening.
I want to be clear, I am obviously not a doctor. This blog isn’t to advise or intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The blog is my personal experience and is solely being written for information purposes only. This is my personal experience.
So began my road down a more holistic approach to my health.
I had no idea that my self esteem had taken such a dive that the only real reaction I had was to say “ I am sorry.” I said it even if it didn’t make sense to say it. Trauma is a debilitating thing, add in grief and it can be a hell of a combination.
At the time, I didn't know anything about meditation. I guess I considered it to be “way too out there”... almost comical to me at the time… but, I was desperate. I was willing to try anything… anything to get out of the state I was in. I was told by a holistic healer that meditation could change my life drastically. Not just drastically but help me react differently to situations and look at life in a different way. I had the opportunity to look at life through “gratefulness”. Really embrace a new way of thinking and change my pessimistic reality by creating a new one.
I was so plagued with anxiety and a victim mentality that my life trajectory was spirling… I had to make a real change and fast.
I decided to commit… and I did. I started meditating daily, and I will say at first it was difficult. My brain would go off in different directions. I wasn’t focused. I would get agitated. I would want to stop the meditation and pick another one and on and on. It was hard to get through 10 minutes, and I was trying to just do 20 minutes. Still, I kept trying.
It wasn’t until about a month in I started to feel something. I was calmer, not as reactive. I would get up and meditating would be the first thing I wanted to do. If in the afternoon I started getting anxious, I would do another meditation and then one to put me to sleep.
Ultimately, I was changing.
It has now been over 1,000 days since I first started on my meditation journey. I initially started with guided meditations on Insight Timer and then added in mantras this past year. People close to me used to advise me that “patience” should be my middle name.
I believe, now, it could be.
This past week I tried a completely new way of meditating that was forwarded to me by a friend. It was almost 90 minutes long and, to be honest, I literally thought to myself “I don't have time for this.” Yet, I remembered I thought the same thing about meditation, and some days I was meditating up to 3 hours a day. Meditation has changed me! So I gave Transformational Breathwork Journey by Yogi Lab a try. I have to tell you 20 minutes in, I wanted to give up. I was uncomfortable, thinking “this isn't for me.” Still, I pushed through. I immediately left my friend a message claiming “this was the best gift I ever received”. It was an incredible experience and I will be doing it again, probably tonight!
Sometimes, getting out of our comfort zones is tough. We want to stick to things we know rather than try things we might not enjoy. Sometimes it's diets or exercise routines (believe me, those can be a struggle to get into). The one constant that I have stuck with over the past several years is meditation. I believe - no, it HAS healed my soul.
I recently looked this up and the original quote is by Mark Nepo:
“When we heal ourselves, we heal the world”
Again, I go back to the phrase Chantal told me years ago: “Heal yourself, heal the world.” Thanks to her advice, I was able to make some serious changes that have helped me live a much healthier, happier, and more grateful life.
As I like to say, if I am not meditating, I need to be meditating.
Here are Some of My Favorite Meditations on Insight Timer:
Advanced Law of Attraction Meditation For Abundance by Michael Mackintosh
Archangel Raphael Powerful Guided Healing Meditation By Pura Rasa
Clear, Cleanse and Align Your Energy by Steve Ahnael Nobel
Uplifting Law of Attraction & Self Confidence Affirmations by Christian Thomas
Completely Relaxed for Sleep by Michael Mackintosh
Let Go of Fear, Worries and Anxiety by Kenneth Soares
Super Quick Abundance Meditation: Expanding The Possibility of Universal Abundance by Steve Ahnael Nobel
Infinite I am Love: Reversing The Toxic Patterning of Separation, Fear and Unworthiness by Steve Ahnael Nobel
Higher Vibration - Raise Your Frequency (963 Hz, 528 Hz) by Magnetic Minds (I listen to this while I work)
Flow of Abundance Meditation by Steve Ahnael Nobel
Set Yourself Free From Somebody by Pura Rasa
Meditation To Boost Self Love & Inner Strength by Kenneth Soares
Brown Noise For Relaxation & Improved Focus by Jason Stephenson
River of Light by Sheryl Paul
Guided Meditation for Cleansing Unwanted Feelings of Negative Thinking
Relax, Release and Relief by davidji
Transforming a Situation by Steve Ahnael Nobel
Letting Go of the Past & Creating a New Future by Michael Mackintosh
Detach From Overthinking: Healing & Cleansing Negative Energy
Accepting Change by Sarah Blondin
When We Must Endure by Sarah Blondin
Remembering Your Worth by Sarah Blondin
Law of Attraction Meditation - Attract What you Desire by Lisa A. Romano